My First Chemo *Cycle#1 - Day 0

There it was. My first chemo on Feb 15th in PPUM @ UH Petaling Jaya.

The day started (it's going to be routine anyway) with taking in Kytril pill @ 1 tablet which must be taken orally at least 1 hour before the IV is being set-up. It's supposed to help prevent the vomiting effect.

Chemotherapy Daycare room in PPUM consists of kerusi empuk yang boleh recline tuh.
so, quite comfy la.
I was ready with materials and all. Tak sempat baca pun. Berborak dengan neighbour lagi ado..

Semoga semuanya baik2 saja

Insyaallah. Someone told me today, maybe i didn't believe in traditional treatment.
I said no, even if i were to 200% believe that traditional treatment work wonders and can heal me, it is only as "wasilah" or "asbab".

Everything is up to Allah SWT.

It's not because i didn't believe in traditional treatment. aku serahkan segala2nya pada Allah.
Aku berusaha dapatkan herba itu, ubat ini, tapi kalau chemotheraphy pun took 6 months, traditional pun sama jugak.
oh well, recent herbal treatment yang aku buat pun (per my previous post : HERE) tak menampakkan apa2 kesan pada mata kasar.

papehal pun, entry neh untuk menceritakan bagaimana journey aku bermula:

About a week before

Happy Chinese New Year my dear friends.
and happy holidays to the rest.
4 straight days. wow-weee...we gonna have a tough time coming back to work..think wednesday morning..

but for me? it's gonna be a week leave. My chemo will start on Feb 13th @ wednesday.
usually MCs will be given for 2-3 days.habih MC den nanti.

Ada yang bertanya. how the trip back to Sabah? how was the traditional treatments?

well,i can't expect miracles unless with Allah's permission.
During my leave back in my hometown, i did visit several ustaz and traditional practitioner/healer.
All actually require long-term treatments which will take months.
so, finding one in Sabah is out of the question since i will be going back to KL soon anyway.

So, following a friend's invitation, i gave another a try. Another traditional healer using herbs.
After a bottle of plain-tasting herbal drink, i feel there is no effect. Actually, i also have no idea where to measure and what to look for even though i am now in stage 2 which involves another herb.
This one is claimed to wonders and he has few testimonies. I wont say there's no effect, but again, i will may only feel the effect if my tumour has reduced to half.

Afterall, all the above including are only asbab or wasilah as only Allah can heal.

but no worries, i am still thinking positive. Negative result won't hinder me as faith is keeping me up as always.

now, i am looking forward to my chemo sessions. this should be fun. I am gonna test my strength - bodily and spiritually. Insyaallah,Everything's gonna be ok.

Please , Let It Be

The decision i made last night may stir quite a discussion especially among my loved and close people in my life.
But all i ask is another week.

This is a hard decision for me to make but i believe i ought to give myself a try at this. Myself deserves this.
Especially when a friend specifically arranged for last night meeting with a healer.
All they ask is another week.

I am also stopping all the supplements i am taking now. For about a week.

Don't judge me. I don't bother. Insyaallah, everything's gonna be just fine.

Of course i am scared. ask yourself, would you not be scared of chemotherapy?
Would you not find other alternatives first?

would you, go for chemotherapy, by the way?

The day before the departure

Letter A in this keyboard is missing. typo error memang manyak..heheh

A friend's advise made me proud "setiap ujian/kesakitan bermakna kita disayngiNya, jika kita mampu mentfsir apa hikmahnya, itu adalah hadiah".

Ya Allah. kini aku mampu tersenyum :-) Allah SWT masih sayangkan aku. masih memberi ruang untuk aku bertaubat, menambh amal ibadh yang mampu membuat aku malu untuk mengadapNya.

Haiyaaaaa

Orang balik kampung relax2...memang aku relax2 sambil urus Oya Dan buat keje umah sikit2 like cooking and all..
Tapi bosan pun Ada..tapi I will not check my work email though..
And I am simply too Malas mo jalan2
So macam takde ubat..duk rumah relax je thinking what to cook next..

Hati..kenapakah?

January 9th 2013. Wednesday. Day 1.

The feeling is always different.

Between going back to the other "kampung" and my own where i grew up.

I love both. Who doesn't anyway as it means cuti,holiday,some time away from daily routine.

the journey to both destination tells a different story each and everytime.

this time, my destination is Keningau, Sabah.

Kedah Series : Beris Vineyard

Nov 12th 2012.

We continued our so-called journey ronda2 Aloq Staq. But not before we visited Beris Vineyard or Ladang Anggur Beris.

It's located very near to Sik Town but about 75km from Alor Setar.

Kami ada gak singgah Tasik Beris tp only the R&R yg open since the rest of the attractions were still under construction.

Very hot you know!

MYOB? almost..

Some people need help but they won't speak up.
Some, will say it out loud.
Some, will use gestures or body language.

Gladly!

Assalamualaikum

Orang Melayu kata "berpantang maut sebelum ajal".
Orang putih kata "bring it on"
Ajaran Islam kata "usaha & tawakkal kepada Allah SWT"

Yes. itulah yang tengah dilakukan.

Rezeki. A call to a close relative of hubby in Kg Melayu Subang proved fruitful. Alhamdulillah.
Pak Anjang has grown his own Soursop tree. Well, no fruits yet but i am looking for the leaves to be exact.

So today, we visited them both for social visit (hehe) and the above objective.
My breast hurts. But i take it i am 2 weeks away from my menses and it always happen.

But i can't help but think. maybe the biopsy wound is hurting..