Please , Let It Be

The decision i made last night may stir quite a discussion especially among my loved and close people in my life.
But all i ask is another week.

This is a hard decision for me to make but i believe i ought to give myself a try at this. Myself deserves this.
Especially when a friend specifically arranged for last night meeting with a healer.
All they ask is another week.

I am also stopping all the supplements i am taking now. For about a week.

Don't judge me. I don't bother. Insyaallah, everything's gonna be just fine.

Of course i am scared. ask yourself, would you not be scared of chemotherapy?
Would you not find other alternatives first?

would you, go for chemotherapy, by the way?

The day before the departure

Letter A in this keyboard is missing. typo error memang manyak..heheh

A friend's advise made me proud "setiap ujian/kesakitan bermakna kita disayngiNya, jika kita mampu mentfsir apa hikmahnya, itu adalah hadiah".

Ya Allah. kini aku mampu tersenyum :-) Allah SWT masih sayangkan aku. masih memberi ruang untuk aku bertaubat, menambh amal ibadh yang mampu membuat aku malu untuk mengadapNya.

Haiyaaaaa

Orang balik kampung relax2...memang aku relax2 sambil urus Oya Dan buat keje umah sikit2 like cooking and all..
Tapi bosan pun Ada..tapi I will not check my work email though..
And I am simply too Malas mo jalan2
So macam takde ubat..duk rumah relax je thinking what to cook next..

Hati..kenapakah?

January 9th 2013. Wednesday. Day 1.

The feeling is always different.

Between going back to the other "kampung" and my own where i grew up.

I love both. Who doesn't anyway as it means cuti,holiday,some time away from daily routine.

the journey to both destination tells a different story each and everytime.

this time, my destination is Keningau, Sabah.

Kedah Series : Beris Vineyard

Nov 12th 2012.

We continued our so-called journey ronda2 Aloq Staq. But not before we visited Beris Vineyard or Ladang Anggur Beris.

It's located very near to Sik Town but about 75km from Alor Setar.

Kami ada gak singgah Tasik Beris tp only the R&R yg open since the rest of the attractions were still under construction.

Very hot you know!

MYOB? almost..

Some people need help but they won't speak up.
Some, will say it out loud.
Some, will use gestures or body language.

Gladly!

Assalamualaikum

Orang Melayu kata "berpantang maut sebelum ajal".
Orang putih kata "bring it on"
Ajaran Islam kata "usaha & tawakkal kepada Allah SWT"

Yes. itulah yang tengah dilakukan.

Rezeki. A call to a close relative of hubby in Kg Melayu Subang proved fruitful. Alhamdulillah.
Pak Anjang has grown his own Soursop tree. Well, no fruits yet but i am looking for the leaves to be exact.

So today, we visited them both for social visit (hehe) and the above objective.
My breast hurts. But i take it i am 2 weeks away from my menses and it always happen.

But i can't help but think. maybe the biopsy wound is hurting..

Kedah Series - Hang nak pi mana??

haaaaa......tu diaa....
2nd day. November 11th, 2012.

Kami pi Padang Besaq!! Opsss...of course la kami check-out dulu dari homestay yang nan indah dan sponsored tu (Thank you Rozana - Dec 31st: Dia tgh demam. 43c tu....semoga cepat baik).

Lepas pi makan rumah pengantin lelaki & lawat pengantin pompuan yang agak lama la nak siap tuh ^_^ (click here for 1st post), kami pun start lah berjalan2.

Kami ambik jalan dalam dari Pendang ke ...hmm..menuju ke Perlis la..jangan straight ke Bukit Kayu Hitam plak...lain hala tujuan tuh (phewww....nasibla passport tak bawak budak2 neh..)

Bundle la..pa lagi..RM1 tau..

Eat or not to eat..

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.

Living with Cancer means major overhaul of one's diet and lifestyle.

Within a week, i know the meaning of Bromalin, Sabah Snake Grass (Belalai Gajah), edible Apricot seeds and so on.

These are the things that we do to survive: learn. read. seek for information. pray. stronger faith.

New found confidence (may i say Eureka?)

Today is the seventh day since i got the news.

Well, within 7 days only, i went through emotional toil and new experiences. Not to mention enlightenment.

During the first few days,i admit that i was not as strong as i thought i was. I did cry. I allowed myself to cry and wallow. Just let it go.

I cried in PPUM. only for awhile. Because the visit to PPUM on Dec 21st made me discover Apricon. Apricot seeds which is claimed to be able to fight cancer cells.
Why not? i haven't really go thru the net thoroughly but kita berikhtiar je. Placebo or not, i personally think we need to work for it. and Tawakkal.
Leena and Vijay also came to accompany me in PPUM. well, we will only know who are our real friends when we are in need. i don't have to elaborate further.

As planned earlier, we went back to Terengganu for Adam's circumcision procedure.It went well thanks to Allah. Cuma still dalam pantang la. Hence, we took the opportunity to see traditional healer in Kg Tok Jembal, Seberang Takir as highly recommended by one of the family members. She got a lump in her breast as well and it went away.

Again, many people could be skeptical, but we must work for it. Berusaha. Tawakkal. Redha.Stay positive.
This experience has enlightened me in some ways. I have regained my confidence ever since truly believing that Allah is always with us. Accept Qada & Qadar and always know that pantang menyerah sebelum ajal.

I also made some self discovery which is suffice to sum as we as Muslims, must believe, and adhere to Islam's Rukun Islam dan Rukun Iman. Insyaallah, peace will come eventually. Allah is always with us.

I ahve also change my diet altogether. No more Nescafes, no sugar, limited rice, and so on. The best part is is feel better. Of course, the withdrawal effects are there but slowly it will go away.

I am quite lucky. I have support from every angle of my life. Friends, colleagues, Family, superiors, healers etc.

Insyaallah, i will be fine. So does my niece who is undergoing treatament for fibroid (suspected) in JB.
Like accoridng to Ira, "Darah Pendekar. Berpantang maut sebelum ajal".

So, back to work. My email dah habis download dah tuh.till then.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t.