Risks of reccurrence

What i went through last month, was cause by a reccurrence on my chest wall. Yes, the tumour was cancerous.

At first, the team wanted to remove my 1st rib and replace with titanium rib.
I could see they were unsure themselves.
Hence, Dr Aisyah, the head of Breast Surgery was called for opinions.

Aaaaaannnddd yes, she was not keen.to remove my.rib.

Ok then. Let's try PET SCAN before deciding to.remove any rib whatsoever.

This particular scan is.not.available.in PPUM or any hospital except at IKN, hospital putrajaya. But since it's covered under company's hospitalization benefit, let's just go to private lah.

I can't recall.the name of the private facility in Bangsar, Jalan Maarof but it sounded like Maharani.

PET SCAN costs about rm2k bu with referral from hospital, it will.cost about RM1K. They will.provide a thorough report and.films for us to...try to understand. Hehehehhe...

Alhamdulillah, the tumour didn't.penetrate into.any bones nor my lungs. Phewwww...what a close call.

So, we.proceed with removal of the lump which i will share in another post.

Hence, please note that reccurrences are common but of.course,.it.is dreadful. It means, there are something not right.or not enough in our lifestyle, diet, preventive actions as well.as our medication.

For.me, tamoxifen didn't work because i am still havingy period every 2 months amd.i had a reccurrence!

Seriously, i need to help myself.

I would be...

Lying, if i said i am not worried.

Sad, if tomorrow is not gonna a day i will be happy.
Positive, about it anyway.


Inquisitive, on what works and what don't for me.
Searching, for the right formula to keep cancer at bay.
Praying hard, to be someone Allah is proud of.



Asking shamelessly from Him, for a longer healthy life in the name of Oya.


It does hit me some time though, that this is karma.
for not really taking care of myself.
for not really "following" the do's and dont's.

For that, i will not feel guilty even a bit. I have no one to answer to except Allah and my family.
I guess they would understand why i am not freaked out about my diet.
Yeah..you got it right. Live stress-free if possible.

You see, cancer is ...funny. You may get cancer if you eat this, do that, be stressed, and yet, when we try to avoid all these so-called cancer inducing factors, we may be stressed in the end because we are trying hard to avoid the factors. sooo....to be or not to be, we can only try our best as human.
though, it will be a no brainer if you jump into a pool of radioactive stuffs..duhh..

in the end, let's just wait for tomorrow. but subconsciously, i know I AM looking for chmeo alternatives just in case.yeah, why don't this time i'll try something else.

Tomorrow will be the judgement day. Hopefully PPUM has the answer for me already.
be it for the better or worst, i WILL accept it with all of my heart.
Except this time, the game will be played differently. Yes cancer cells, watch out. If you even dare to reveal yourself tomorrow, it will be "the" judgement day for you.

Baru ku tahu

Ya Allah.
Hari ini makin sakit dada belah kanan neh.
Mungkin kesan radioterapi. Hopefully it's the effect of it.
Not the effect of metastasis whatsoever.

Sebelum ini, aku hanya membaca mengenai kesakitan yang dialami oleh pesakit2 kanser including seorang senior di SMSS yang sudah pun menjadi arwah. Al Fatihah buat Dalilah Tamrin.