Hati..kenapakah?

January 9th 2013. Wednesday. Day 1.

The feeling is always different.

Between going back to the other "kampung" and my own where i grew up.

I love both. Who doesn't anyway as it means cuti,holiday,some time away from daily routine.

the journey to both destination tells a different story each and everytime.

this time, my destination is Keningau, Sabah.


Mine and Oya's seat was supposed to be at different row, 15A and 17F.

Trying my luck, i asked the stewardess for a change of seat before we takeoff. I was politely told to take my seat first and she would look into it later.

Somewhat pissed off, i tried again. this time, with the steward. Voila, not only we were allowed to change seat pronto, i could choose my seats.hahhaa...pa lagi..belakang2 la..tak ramai orang..

kenapa aku balik? saja. berehat. maybe berubat.

tapi hati kurang tenang. sebab Adam tak dapat ikut sebab di block oleh immigration aka Daddy. Standard 6 can't afford to miss nearly 2 weeks of school days.

Kalau daddy ikut lagi la lengkap.tapi knowing him yang tak reti duduk diam, better dia tak ikut. sebab aku boleh duduk rumah diam2 without doing anything like keluar2 to town but orang tuh akan terbakar bontot..hahah..

January 11th 2013. Friday. Day 3.

Kinda missing the company of Adam and daddy. kalau dorang ada lagi lah havoc. tapi kalau dorang ada lagilah cerewet hari2 cuti ku. hahaha

takpela. as of 3.30pm today, dorang dah sampai Terengganu. Menjenguk ibu mertua yang kurang sehat dek stroke stage 1. semoga beliau semakin sihat hendaknya.

yesterday night pergi berubat jumpa "Tuan Haji". sakit kakiku dipicit. samapi sekarang masih terasa ngilunya. macam kena hiris pisau. tapi kalau dah sakit, memang gitu gamaknya.

aku pun tak tau what's the relevance with cancer but this is one of the many efforts in my journey to healing.

Macam biasa, air pun ada dibekalkan bersama nasihat2.

Insyaallah, hari ahad "review" lagi. tapi kali neh agak berbeza dari segi supply of air jampi.

tak boleh top-up. kalau habis, habisla.

macam biasa aku dapat, kalau tinggal separuh, boleh top-up.

dalamm hati ada sedikit gangguan perasaan. mungkin sebab rindu kat Adam and daddy.maybe? tau gak aku rindu. maybe sekarang i needed them more than before. for emotional support kot.

tapi aku berdoa dijauhkan ragu2 dalam hati ini. orang kata berubat neh kena yakin.

tapi kenapa hati masih ..kurang tenang? aku kat kampung halaman ku kot.dikelilingi family members yang care about me kot.

tapi kenapa?

i should still be in joyous mood since my bone scan and CT scan came out clear the other day. Alhamdulillah syukur.

tapi hati...kenapa?

Ya Allah, jauhkanlah ku dari sifat was-was, tinggikan kesabaranku, tenangkan hatiku Ya Rabbi.