I would be...

Lying, if i said i am not worried.

Sad, if tomorrow is not gonna a day i will be happy.
Positive, about it anyway.


Inquisitive, on what works and what don't for me.
Searching, for the right formula to keep cancer at bay.
Praying hard, to be someone Allah is proud of.



Asking shamelessly from Him, for a longer healthy life in the name of Oya.


It does hit me some time though, that this is karma.
for not really taking care of myself.
for not really "following" the do's and dont's.

For that, i will not feel guilty even a bit. I have no one to answer to except Allah and my family.
I guess they would understand why i am not freaked out about my diet.
Yeah..you got it right. Live stress-free if possible.

You see, cancer is ...funny. You may get cancer if you eat this, do that, be stressed, and yet, when we try to avoid all these so-called cancer inducing factors, we may be stressed in the end because we are trying hard to avoid the factors. sooo....to be or not to be, we can only try our best as human.
though, it will be a no brainer if you jump into a pool of radioactive stuffs..duhh..

in the end, let's just wait for tomorrow. but subconsciously, i know I AM looking for chmeo alternatives just in case.yeah, why don't this time i'll try something else.

Tomorrow will be the judgement day. Hopefully PPUM has the answer for me already.
be it for the better or worst, i WILL accept it with all of my heart.
Except this time, the game will be played differently. Yes cancer cells, watch out. If you even dare to reveal yourself tomorrow, it will be "the" judgement day for you.

Finale of Radiotherapy

Nov 27th. #15.

Just like that. My radiotherapy session has ended today.
15 times in-a-row except for weekends.

15 times of to-and-fro driving from Glenmarie to UMMC/PPUM/UH via NPE.
15 times of seeing the almost familiar faces everyday.
15 times of chit-chatting with a bunch of friendly radiographers.
15 times of changing into hospital robes.
15 times of feeling nothingness when strangers look unto your body and draw lines with markers.

i am just glad it's all over.
Parking space in PPUM is precious especially during the school holiday.

Options?
1. Get someone to drive you there and wait for you. The procedure minus the waiting time is only 10mins.
    Get yourself to the Oncology-Radio section by 11.30am and the most is having 3 people ahead of you.
    If you go at 8am, you will have at least 20pax ahead of you
2. Park at Crystal crown hotel and take a cab there.
3. Park by the roadside,
4. Naik taxi all the way. habis citer.

Now, i get to enjoy my "sunburnt" skin and it's starting to get itchy here and there.
Panas but bearable.

neh la gambar machine yang aku dok mengadap tuh. Baring je kat atas katil pastuh mesin bulat tuh akan pegi mana yang disetkan.
excuse me, mmg tak nampak hapa ok. ko cuma tau mesin tuh jalan sebab ada bunyi.
kat PPUM cuma ada 1 mesin je. so, kalau rosak, mmg dorang akan call untuk postpone treatment.
last week, ada sehari mesin rosak. so dorang ganti hari sabtu pagi.

jadi kaedahnya, lepas neh ada appoitnment for review saja.

insyallah, everything is gonna be fine saja.

hopefully dah tak payah lah pegi mengadap semua2 neh lagi,

My First Chemo *Cycle#1 - Day 0

There it was. My first chemo on Feb 15th in PPUM @ UH Petaling Jaya.

The day started (it's going to be routine anyway) with taking in Kytril pill @ 1 tablet which must be taken orally at least 1 hour before the IV is being set-up. It's supposed to help prevent the vomiting effect.

Chemotherapy Daycare room in PPUM consists of kerusi empuk yang boleh recline tuh.
so, quite comfy la.
I was ready with materials and all. Tak sempat baca pun. Berborak dengan neighbour lagi ado..