Happy Birthday My Angel!!

Sofiya is 2 today and I can’t help but feel happy yet sad at the same time.

She can’t even crawl yet let alone walk. Her grip strong, yes, showing strong hand and fingers but it also shows that she is just like a 10 months old baby when she’s already 2!!!

She understands bye-bye and wave when she has to eventhough Wall-E can perform a smoother waving movement.

Her steps are getting firm and both legs were no longer wobbly like before but toddlers her age should be running around like nobody’s business and she could only do it when she’s in the walker.

I am happy that she started calling out to me even though the only sounds that she makes are “aaaaaaa”, “dididididididi” and mostly “ wuuuuwuuuuwuuu”.

Yes I am happy but I know I am angry.

Yet, I love her so much like other mothers love their children and if, she is fated to have her development delayed or even stays like this forever, I still love her deeply.

Feelings of mothers who has OKU status children are a bit different from mothers with normal kids. I know because my firstborn is alhamdulillah normal. It feels like i want to shelter her forever and as to my son, i want him to explore the world.

Even though Sofiya Global Development Delay level is very2 minor, don’t ever2 say “takde apa2 la. Lambat jek tuh” We do know the reality of children with Cerebral Palsy. If they improve, good and it may come waaaaaay later. But to those unfortunate, the time may not come at all. So, the best things you can say will be “ sabar, nih semua dugaan tuhan”, “ada hikmah di sebaliknya” , “keep seeing the doctors. Don’t miss the appointments”,etc. The best one yet I get is “you’re lucky. God loves either one of you (me and hubby) or both of you and test you this way”. I can’t help but also think that, maybe this is my redemption of whatever bad things I did in the past? Well then, no pun intended, I am lucky coz I am forgiven kot!! :D

….and please in my daughters’ case, stop giving free unwanted advise on pursuing the case with hospital WITHOUT showing how, why, who, when and what. I have no clue where to start and I don’t need people to confuse me further. Not that I want to sue the hospital people but like I said, I have my doubt. Doubts are never good. Must clear it.

Anyway, Happy 2^nd Birthday Dalili Sofiya. You are loved and we will face whatever may come together including mommy being zombie while waiting for you to sleep at 3 am.